I had written a great piece about people with Parkinson’s (pwp) and how the media portrays them, however, I’m also worried it is a potential political nightmare. For now, I’m keeping it under wraps. Instead I’m going to talk about the struggle to know what the right thing is when you’re stumbling through the dark looking for a clear way forward.

There are many sidelines. So many things I could choose to do. Yet the thing that appeals the most and I keep returning to are my people skills. I know I am great at getting people on board, behind ideas, convincing them to run along with me. In the current climate of rising unemployment, even getting anyone to consider giving me an interview without recent paid work by an institution is difficult.

Why is it people put so much weight behind paid employment by companies? I’ve dealt with very difficult customers (have you looked after four children?), project managed large ambitious ideas (nobody believed that Waikanae Air Scouts could ever exist) and managed large scale events. (Wings Over Wairarapa.)

Yet people place no value on any of the outstanding things I achieved through Scouts NZ because it’s free. Nobody pays for it so it must be worthless, right? Never mind that I took a crazy idea (a Scout group that specialises in flying and aviation), and despite knowing nothing about the subject I won over doubters, some positively negative obstructive people, I convinced them of my ability to pull this off. And I didn’t just create a Scout group, I assisted in a National Scout School on Aviation, learned an immense amount of information, passed an examination in Aviation and Aviation Safety, and presented to large groups in the final recruitment stage. Let’s not forget I secured financial set-up funding from the organisation, that had initially been reluctant to even consider the idea. Finally, last year we achieved Royal New Zealand Air Force recognition. No mean feat for a little Scout group in sleepy Waikanae. Especially for a girl from Yorkshire that was scared of flying.

Yet none of this matters. It’s no big deal is it? It’s something anyone could do, isn’t it? What’s the point anyway? It’s not like I even get paid for it.

No. But each Scout pays a fee every term. They buy uniform. Parents make a significant financial investment into their child so they can attend. Camps, tramps, trips to events, all carry an additional fee. Have you seen the cost of flying tuition?

Let’s not get started on the fundraising. I’ve raised over $10,000.00 in two years . Might not sound like much in comparision to huge corporate budgets, but for a small Scout group in sleepyville it’s make or break.

But no. It’s worthless. Means nothing. It makes me think, just how are people who have been out of the workforce for some time supposed to prove themselves? For myself, I decide that I shouldn’t have to. I’m honest about my time out, but also honest that I have much to give. If I’m passed over for another twenty-something white male I know that the employer has made a mistake they’ll never discover. Fair enough, on to the next option.

The right position is out there for me, somewhere. The important thing for me is to hold my nerve, know that I have worth and I’d be a marvellous asset to any company that is wise enough to give me a shot.

There is much talk of positivity and determination, but it really is very important. This woman is going places. Watch me soar.