Category: Parkinson’s disease

image of kitty fitton in a dancer's yoga pose.
blog, Parkinson's disease

Just Another Awareness Day

It’s almost World Parkinson’s Day. It’s something big on my calendar yet I’m sure to most people it’s ‘just another awareness day.’ In the six years I have had this disease I have seen the Covid-19 pandemic sweep the world and an effective vaccination program created and rolled out worldwide.  Yet the drugs I am given to try to control this thing are unchanged.  All that’s happened is they’ve increased slightly. My Parkinson’s has got a little worse but I’m still fighting.  It’s a fight I fear I’ll never win. I don’t know why I wrote that. I know I’ll never win. That’s not a defeatist comment, it’s the truth.  I can’t stop the degeneration.  That’s what this whole thing is. I can retrain my body; I can work on my mental health. Ultimately today is the best I will ever be. Tomorrow will be infinitesimally worse. Those tiny, little increments creep up on you.  You might not even notice until one day you realise bending down to pick something up feels harder. It’s slow. You discover once your meds kick in it’s easier.  Ah. That’s Parkinson’s. I didn’t used to be like that before medication on a morning.  It […]

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blog, Parkinson's disease

No Thanks For The Memories

Good old Facebook, always there, ready to surprise you with that memory option. I was going to write about feminism, nothing to do with Parkinson’s at all. I can hear some sighs already. Don’t worry. Facebook put paid to that as it reminded me six years ago I visited the hospital for the first time to try to find out what was happening to me. Ah. Hindsight. Isn’t it great? I was full of optimism that day. I always tell my children that the doctor isn’t to be feared. They’re there to set your mind at rest. Most of time they’re simply confirming your suspicion that rest and a bit of gentle exercise will sort everything out. Most of the time. Post from 21st March 2016 – still hopeful there’s nothing seriously wrong.   I remember being asked yet again to walk up and down. I remember being stared at serioiusly and feeling rather strange. I could tell they were looking for something. The ‘big doctor’ was called in too and they muttered in a corner. I asked them what they thought was wrong with me. I was asked “Mrs Fitton, what do YOU think is wrong with you?” I […]

blue skies with a small fluffy cloud and sunshine rays pouring in from the right.
blog, Parkinson's disease

Going it Alone

I’ve put off writing about this for some time. It’s tricky. I have wanted to work it through in my head but I don’t want to upset anyone with what I say. I’m going to write about my recent decision to do something many people have thought is ridiculous, rash, stupid and completely crazy. You see, to the world I was happily married. We were the perfect couple. A bit mismatched in areas, but they say that makes things interesting. My husband was supportive and kind. I had no reason to actually find paid employment and enjoyed looking after my children at home. Yet I was unhappy. My husband was – is – a good man. He’s a great father and is a very kind person. Yet we were moving in opposite directions. For a long time, but especially since I was diagnosed with Parkinson’s I felt as though I wanted to grab life by the horns and run with it as fast as I could. Experience everything. Feel the wind in my hair. Watch the sunset on the beach. Swim in the sea, ride my bike as fast as I could along long sweeping pathways. Climb mountains (well I […]

red haired woman in grey hoodie and glasses looking crossly into the camera with folded arms.
blog, Parkinson's disease, public speaker

Still Fighting

Remember I’d said that I’d written a piece about the way people with Parkinson’s (pwp) were depicted? I was worried about possible implications if I posted it, yet once again I found myself cut adrift, alone, and wondering what more could possibly come along to cause me strife. (Actually, there’s always more, you have to keep smiling!) It made me realise that there really is only you. You depend on you. Because when it gets right down to it, nobody will ever have your back quite like yourself. Cynical? Sure. But after the last few weeks I’ve had, it’s the position I find most realistic. To hell with repercussions, I’m angry. I’m really angry. I won’t be told to pipe down and keep quiet, and here is the piece I wrote. I’ve been thinking a lot recently about the way people with Parkinson’s (pwp) are often portrayed in the media. It’s a subject clearly close to my heart. When I first heard that I myself had Parkinson’s Disease the very first words out of my mouth were “isn’t that like, really bad?” I thought I was going to die. Well. We’re all going to die, but I certainly imagined my […]

woman with red hair and plum shawl looking directly into the camera over red spectacles.
blog, job seeking, Parkinson's disease

Money is Everything

I had written a great piece about people with Parkinson’s (pwp) and how the media portrays them, however, I’m also worried it is a potential political nightmare. For now, I’m keeping it under wraps. Instead I’m going to talk about the struggle to know what the right thing is when you’re stumbling through the dark looking for a clear way forward. There are many sidelines. So many things I could choose to do. Yet the thing that appeals the most and I keep returning to are my people skills. I know I am great at getting people on board, behind ideas, convincing them to run along with me. In the current climate of rising unemployment, even getting anyone to consider giving me an interview without recent paid work by an institution is difficult.   Why is it people put so much weight behind paid employment by companies? I’ve dealt with very difficult customers (have you looked after four children?), project managed large ambitious ideas (nobody believed that Waikanae Air Scouts could ever exist) and managed large scale events. (Wings Over Wairarapa.) Yet people place no value on any of the outstanding things I achieved through Scouts NZ because it’s free. […]

cartoon image of a woman with a child in her arm.
blog, NZLockdown, Parkinson's disease

World Domination Draws Closer

I was to write you a nice post about something other than Parkinson’s today. However, those lovely people at Parkinson’s Life sent me this lovely article. It’s especially nice as I’m in it, and my lovely friend Emma from The Parky Ninja. Enjoy. You can find the article HERE. Also on Parkinson’s Life is this awesome video from Christine Jeyachandran  It might also feature a certain recognisable Yorkshirewoman. Yes. My quest for World Domination is well underway.  

image of open laptop and notebook.
blog, job seeking, Parkinson's disease

Economic Downturn

And so. I have become another victim of the Covid-19 economic downturn. I received a phone call about the job I had been told I was successful for. The one that they needed filling immediately. The one that was still needed, but slightly delayed due to level 4. Perhaps Mid May. Yes. All being well around there. But no. Ah. The dangers of working (potentially) for a charity or non-profit. Lack of resources. Full restructure. Employment freeze. And I get it. Of course I do. But I wanted that role so badly. For so many reasons, both selfish (I need a job – I need the money badly) and also altruistically. (It was a position where I could have helped others very much.) But it is not to be. Possibly. In a few months. After the restructure. They may call. They may not. I have to rethink. There has been much to rethink recently.   And so. Back to the drawing board and trawling employment sites and looking for suitable roles. The issue here is of course gaining attention. I’m told I’m over qualified for some, but under qualified for others. Usually this is recruiter-speak for ‘not currently employed’ or […]

world map in green bordered by the faces of people from the video.
blog, Parkinson's disease, public speaker

Inspire, Work Hard, Get Results

Right now I’m finding it hard to type. My left hand is annoyingly unresponsive without a little extra oomph from me. It’ll come good in a bit, I recently took my tablets. I’m still bad at taking them on time. It’s not that I don’t know I have to, it’s more like a silent rebellion. “I don’t need you! I can do this, look I’m actually doing really well.” Then it’s like hitting a wall. Erk. Rats. If I hadn’t waited I wouldn’t have crashed and now wouldn’t be waiting for the most unattractive / desirable coming ‘up’ there is. Though of course for those of us with Parkinson’s, ‘coming up’ is exactly what we want. We need those little suckers to do the trick and help make our bodies move again. But I talked of this a couple of weeks ago, you don’t need to hear that again, do you?   Last week saw the end of Parkinson’s Awareness Month. Irritatingly overshadowed by this thing called Covid-19. Not to let a little thing like a global pandemic get in our way, we’ve still tried to do bits here and there. I was stoked to be asked to join in […]

image of tablets in a bottle and a blister pack
blog, Parkinson's disease

I Forgot

At times like this I detest Parkinson’s. I’ve been remiss. I forgot to take my tablets. I’m lucky, my tablets work well, but I took the last lot at 11.30am as scheduled and I forgot until now, 07.00pm to take the next lot. I was distracted, I was eating dinner with my family. It’s Easter, we made chocolate cupcakes with buttercream and tiny chocolate eggs for dessert. God knows how difficult it’s been to find Easter Eggs this year. And I just forgot. Bitter Little Pill And now my arm is heavy, as is my neck and head. I hate that. I mean, movement is coming back to me, even as I type this I’m feeling better. However, it’s that awful realisation that despite all the smiling, all the laughter, all the “hey, let’s be positive!” I can’t actually cope without taking my pills. Without my medication, my limbs feel strange, like I’m excessively tired. I feel that my body is failing. I’m working out every day. I’ve recently got into yoga, and it’s helping, I can feel it. Despite this, None of it means anything without my pills. I’m a woman of science. I believe in medication. I know […]

silhouette of the face and shoulders of a person of indeterminate gender.
blog, NZLockdown, Parkinson's disease

Impostor Syndrome

I think it’s time for a little honesty. For a start off, I’ve recently been described as a blogger. Well, that would be great, but it’s hardly true. I’m not nearly dedicated enough to write almost half as often as I should. Second, stereo-typically I’m a tortured soul. Many of us are. But this time I’m finding more torturous than usual. Quite frankly, I’m not coping very well with the current lockdown in NZ. I know I’m not alone. We’ve all learned to Zoom / Skype / Facebook chat / Hangout but let’s be honest, it’s nothing like the real thing. Some of us have flouted rules and accidentally seen our friends at the beach or the supermarket car park. We’ve kept the prerequisite distance, but it’s still so odd to not be able to be close to our friends. We’re social creatures. It’s tough to stay home. My housework has taken off, the garden is looking fabulous. The children are playing heaps of games together. I’ve even exercised daily, thanks to the awesome local gym owner who loaned me some equipment just before everything ground to a halt. But I feel kind of desolate. Kind of strange and disconnected. […]