Being told that you have an incurable disease is an unpleasant experience. Discovering that it’s degenerative even more so. The world expects. You’re expected to decline. You’re expected to not do well. You’re expected to be sick, take it easy. In addition age brings with it certain expectations. Weight gain, loss of mobility and ease of movement. (How many of you can touch your toes?) It would be so easy to give in to these expectations. Trust me, I know. Everywhere I go people offer me seats and tell me to take it easy. And I often wish I could.

I went on holiday recently. It was, without a shadow of a doubt the best holiday I have ever had. No stresses, everything was early arranged, nothing was a major issue. I walked. Boy, did I walk. One day I even smashed my daily step count, coming in at 22,144, over 16kms in one day. Not bad for someone that only a few weeks earlier had thought walking was becoming almost impossible.

I did skimp on my physio and stretches though. And that showed. I struggled to bend over to pick things off the floor, and occasionally I was slow. So slow. My daughter commented that she had never seen me struggle so much. I hated it.

I did stretch some mornings, whilst pushing away the voice of my hated inner critic. I hate that person. “Why bother? You’re fat and useless, you’ll never be able to do this, what’s the point, you’re going to get worse no matter how hard you fight.” The words from a thoughtless colleague ring in my ears, “my uncle was just like you and said he’d fight it. He went downhill so fast after 50 though. Now he’s in a home and can’t look after himself.”

Parkinson’s never takes a break. Neither will I. There is still so much to see, to do and enjoy. So before the house wakes today I shall be up and exercising. Stretching, wondering just how one does a side-plank with ease, and finishing with a short walk.

I’d rather stay in bed. I’d rather kick back and relax, take an easier start to the day (especially as work will not be fun today I’m sure). But the world expects Parkinson’s to beat me. I’m not about to give into that. Stuff your expectations, your anecdotes of misery and woe. I’m off for a workout and walk. it’s painful and hard, but I’ll never stop pushing back.

Until next time.